it's been a long, long week

i'm so tired right now. working 8-5... mostly the EIGHT part about it, I dislike. I'm not a morning person; a night-owl schedule more fits my criteria. i haven't clumsily dropped any pot covers on my nose recently, but I keep messing up in the lab. Forgetting this, slipping up on that - I know the lady I work under thinks I'm a joke. Anyway, I'm really trying to prove that I've got this labwork thing down to a zip, but something has gone wrong every bleepn day.

The mice in the lab are doing very fine, thank you. They're so cute. One of them made it out of surgery safe yesterday - one of the lab people opened up the wrong mouse (he he he), but the little critter still lives, minus her feminism of course (they took out her ovaries) .

On the lighter side of things, I got back my MCAT scores like 3 days ago. Well, at least this is my 'bright- er' side of things, ugh. Okay, so I'm debating if I should pay another 200 bucks to take the test again in August to try and improve my English score (see I know I can spel, reed, and wryte just fine) or if I should just, well.... 'settle' for a good school that's in a state I'm not too fanatical about - Nebraska - that I've already been accepted to from scholarship. I thought next August was my escape from this place *tear* but I fear there may yet be another four years in my future. (sniffle) No more Wake Forest... no more free laptop...oh dear

so like all of my pals tell me i am way too dull with my choice of colors of clothing. one called me a penguin last semester. is it really my fault that I'm a simple kind of chica? so what if the only colors in my closet are largely black, white, grey, and blue (with a few hues off to the side for all these haters)? whoever said yellow was the way to go? whoever said preferring to look sleek and savvy in black is a crime? all my black-garment wearers join hands and raise 'em high. and for the one yellow piece of clothing that i actually own (due to some pressure from Tiffany (Mc)Griffin) - woohoo, this is for you.

- mispensive
(Miss Pensive)

Learning from Life

'There's a light at the end of this tunnel,
you shout cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made,
You'll just make them again,
if you'll only try turnin' around'

- Anna Nalick, Breathe

I've been trying to run from some situations in my life like a frail puppy afraid of its own tail, or other putative animal petrified by its own shadow. I guess I need to start claiming the good... and the bad, and face it like a man --- no, like a woman. Face it, boldly. Deal with it, and not try to repress or suppress it like Pastor Dobie Weasel at my church said, about anger. I guess that can apply to other feelings or emotions as well, though - hurt, pain, frustration, confusion...

When you repress or supress, it's bound to come bounding out at some point I guess

when you least expect it,

with someone for whom you don't intend it,

and, you probably won't really like it.

They probably wouldn't either. So here's to brazen acts for today, and onwards. Cheers.

1 week later.....

Yes, great things. So I managed to face a fear... well, to face someone that I needed to clear some air up with - okay, a boy. I had to work myself up to it for like 3 freakn days, and then get round to calling the fella and the person is totally chilled. Not even pissed... let alone furious as I was led to believe by some..b...o...d...y (:s) Anyway, I thought back and I remember seeing somewhere that like some high percentage of the time, what we're worrying about is either very unlikely to happen, or impossible that it could even occur. Like me freaking out that I was totally going to be shut down by this person... sometimes, I think it's good to just let go (and let live too), and as my girl Fiona said 'Let your hair down sometimes' i.e. just BE. I mean, I really don't have very much hair right now actually (the lady at the salon hooked me up), but as a figure of speech, I can let my hair down in my life situations I suppose - aha!

just wanted to share this tragic episode I had... lol

I am not a klutz

Or so I like to tell myself: Woke up late, was trying to boil some coffee (because our microwave can't fit any of our tall cups in it), reached up to grab the pot which is a couple feet above my head, and with it comes crashing down the heavy glass, metal-rimmed lid. OUT OF NOWHERE. right smack on to the bridge of my nose. i didn't curse, well almost didn't. and ummm... just stood there, getting later for work by the second holding my bruised nose in pain. oh yeah, and then ended up forgetting my lunch at home. maybe i got a concussion... like a nasal one, you know.