maturity: to be or not to.... become?

oh gosh. no London this summer. I felt like dying, literally when i came to this realization. crying was a given. dying was almost on my agenda. but for me to accept the fact of not going and still be going on in a mildly happy state, means that maybe i'm maturing? i've started to be able to start letting go of things that i REALLY want sooooo badly (like going to London and France and see 10 million old high school friends all in one super-duper 10 day trip *tear). i don't know. maybe not. i never thought i'd get to this point. i don't think i want to live in this point for my life. if that makes sense....
otherwise, i'm trying to get a 2nd job. gosh, i've never applied for so many jobs in like...EVER. it seems like i've applied everywhere, including job agencies. i pride myself on by saying that perhaps i'm just too qualified. ha! yeah, right. anyway, getting to the end of this "semester" of class if you can call it that, considering it was only a measly 3 weeks long :D. But my professor calls it that, and er...anyway! either way. i'm ecstatic about it. quite frankly.

oh my freaking gosh

the semester is over. i'm in one of those flippant, sort of hazy moments where i can't really believe it, and i'm shocked, too shocked.... like what do i do with myself. no anatomy to study, no nothing to study, no.... oh my gosh, i think i might cry. i'm just soooo elated! this is great. summer, my love... wellcome